You know that pickup line? "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together." It occurred to me today, and not for the first time, while looking at my keyboard that the QWERTY keyboard already puts U and I together. I wonder if that could be worked into a suitably bad pickup line?
No one's ever tried to use this line on me before. The best bad pickup line I've ever gotten was the following, said to me in a very smoky bar (best heard with the accompanying accent, but this will have to do): "Hey baby, you smell good." I was so shocked by this that I couldn't even attempt to be polite. I just turned to him and said, "I smell like cigarette smoke. I've been here for several hours." That pretty much stopped him in his tracks. He continued to sit next to me at the bar for a few minutes, occasionally looking my direction as if he were trying to come up with some way to salvage the situation, but as I continued to ignore him, he went quietly away and left me to continue talking to the bartender (who I was dating at the time).